TAKE A SHOT

There are instances in our lives wherein we see ourselves being in this identity moratorium. This happens usually when we are still in the process of looking for something that may complete to our life's puzzle or being in the situation wherein we're doing something but we're not totally happy about it. There is no exception to this whether you're an accomplished person or a layman. Lucky are those who overcome this process earlier in life. Mostly, this moratorium begins to exist during teenage years when teenagers start to discover their identity and role confusions, as termed by the famous educational theorist Erik Erikson.

Some external forces like family expectations, overprotective parents, authoritarian parenting style contribute to the existence of identity moratorium. For instance, in the movie 3 Idiots, Farhan was forced to study Engineering as what his father told him despite that wildlife photography was his first love. Meanwhile, Matthew Franklin of Take Me Home Tonight earned an Engineering degree from MIT but ended up working in a video store at the mall because he's still in the process of finding his true self. Recently, in the primetime teleserye of ABS-CBN, Margaux of Ina Kapatid Anak plays the role of an obedient daughter to her authoritarian mother. In A Beautiful Affair, also in ABS-CBN, Leon opted to go abroad in bringing back the pieces of his lost self after his mother's unexpected demise.

If we have to look at it, the first three situations revolve around family expectations. Some parents tend to dictate their children on what to do in their lives undermining the latter's ability to choose what they want. A couple of medical doctors expects that taking up Medicine runs in the blood. There's nothing wrong with that if that's the case, if children are also into Medicine. But, some parents tend to forget that their children are other human beings. They have their free will. They have their own dreams, own choices. Perhaps, some parents are becoming like that because they're afraid that their children will have to experience mistakes. They, sometimes, forget that learning out from these mistakes what makes their children better persons and renewed individuals. 

Judiciousness permissiveness or permissive parenting style comes out to be a good suggestion to these scenarios. Parents have to keep opportunities for their children to learn in their own ways. We have to remember that life begins outside their comfort zone. So, children somehow find their true selves better if they have to do it by themselves with, of course, parental guidance.

And in the case of Leon in the last example, it is the representation of the magic formula Time + Acceptance = Moving On. He is in psychological moratorium because he is engulfed by his guilt, unless he accepts that evertyting happens for a reason. That's the point wherein he can truly move on. Time heals everything.

The initial action of overcoming psychological moratorium is to take seriously the wisdom of this thought: "Do something that you are passionate about. Do not compare yourself to others. You are special. You are at your best when you're happy about what you're doing." 

On a lighter-but-serious note, it's November. It's time that we pay special tribute and commemorate the memories of our departed loved ones. Speaking of departure, hypothetically, if Death might say: "I'll take you to your eternal home tonight!" I don't think so if I would have to affirm because I still have "the fucking" courage to take my shot here on Earth no matter what sacrifices I'm going to take in the course of searching for it. It doesn't mean that I'm afraid to die. I believe that there's eternal life ahead of us. And, I'm looking forward to live eternally in what we call "heaven's paradise." But for now, I'm just willed by these instances God has given me to live and to live more while I'm still alive. This is my life. This is me. I'm entitled to be happy.     

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