PLEASE RELEASE ME, LET ME GO

I’m screwing up. I do want to hang up my job. Unfortunately, I lose my motivation to keep going. I don’t know why, but let’s face it. This is how I describe my present endeavors.

I’m sorry for being rude, but it’s really going to be that way. My energy of working everyday goes down that quick. I’m always trying to keep my negative thoughts turn into positive, but these thoughts just come in pouring and fall into place. I can’t resist, but to write it down so as not to forget any singe details of my time.

In time, I am the moderator of The Beacon, the Official Student Publication of Surigao Education Center, and Montessori’s The Cruiser. I find it hilarious for the first time. I need to hit two birds with one stone, and I ought to deal with two masters at a time. It’s not surprising, but I take it that way.

I got offered the job by the time I was about to step out last March. In my way, I’m still grateful for the nature of the job. I’m into journalism wherever I go. I just can’t change it. Accordingly, I took the job with zest.

However, it took me by surprise that I need to start from scratch. From revision of the policies to creating the editorial board, everything is not that easy. Eventually, with God’s help, I was able to come up with enough ideas on how to deal the matter. Everything, at least, falls now into place.

Though I’m really always trying to catch things up, there’s a piece of me that is still not motivated. These thoughts got me pensive most of the time. Eventually, I had it discovered myself.

I pondered that much because I got used to work on to new things hitherto. Speaking of which, I had a handful of first time experiences way back in college when I was still in The Hub student publication. On the other side, I’m thankful for such opportunities firsthand. I got a lot of learnings from it. It just so happened that I have still it today. I mean, most of endeavors I attend to gotta have that start-from-scratch pattern. It just makes me weird, though.

To make it short, I want to work with an established workplace having all the opportunities to keep myself abreast from the newest among the “news.” And, I just can’t find and feel it here right now.

The reason why, I can describe my present job as a bummer. However, as I always stress out, there’s always a season and a reason for everything. Perhaps, quitting from my job will just come in time. I just need to work on things one at a time today.